A Day in the Life of an Unschooling Family...
- Jan 29, 2019
- 7 min read
One of the things that I get asked all the time, is, what does a typical day look like for an unschooling family.
I totally get that question,
because I myself was confused by what it all meant when we first started,
and I still see so many posts out there from parents who just don't get what the day to day looks like.
Maddie has been unschooled in the true sense of the word for quite some time now,
so she is not going through any transitional phases at the moment,
she is well and truly over all the tv binge watching, oversleeping and all the other things she had to get out of her system, before things equalised.
And everyone who is just living their lives will have very different priorities and routines, so this is just what our lives look like.
We do tend to keep things calm, and we like to take life at a slower pace and just enjoy each moment,
all doing what makes us happy and what brings value to our lives.
That means that most days Maddie already knows what she's going to do.
Sometimes if I have an idea that I think is cool, or that she will enjoy,
I'll tell her, and she'll usually say, she knows what she's going to do, or that she has plans.
She also enjoys going through her plans with me in great detail, and that strikes up our first conversation for the day, and gets me clued in on whats she's enjoying at the moment so I can keep an eye out for anything that comes up, that may be in line with that.
Some days she'll make boardgames, sometimes she'll be into her legos, sometimes she'll read and write all day, sometimes origami, crafting, cooking/baking, minecraft, powerpoint presentations, coding, photography, editing, tricky maths, quizzes and journalling, piano, website building, sometimes she wants to be out all day, and a lot of the time it can be something totally random, like learning how to tie knots, and sometimes she wants to make popcorn and watch movies with me all day long.
But no matter what it is, it's always her own idea, and it always grabs her attention and takes her into a rich world of learning.
It doesn't look conventional, and it doesn't have to make sense to me, but it is wonderful.
It is inspiring and full of curiosity and questions.
I usually have quite a different schedule to her, and crack on with my own things unless we are out together, or unless she wants to do something together, then I will prioritise that.
We chat and are around each other all day, but mostly do the things we want to do.
When you are all learning through life and enjoying each moment, everything falls into a groove.
Tuesdays she is out all day on her own at forest school, which she loves, and she comes home smelling like fire, with plasters on her hands and covered in dirt, with a huge smile on her face.
Spending time in nature is so good for her soul.
She also has at least one activity a day, which she has narrowed down over the years after trying a little bit of many different things.
At these activities she gets to hang out with friends and gets active,
while she does the things she's passionate about.
She enjoys piano, trampolining, girl guides, skiing and the occasional social group.
Sundays are family days and we usually go to the beach or for a long walk, before we settle down for boardgames or movies.
She also have semi-regular play dates with her best friend, family friends and her newly made friends.
Monday's we keep free so she can really tuck into her projects, because quite often she'll wake up with a sparked idea, and she'll literally sit there all day focused on that, right up until she goes to bed again that night.
On days like this, it's important for me not to break her stride and just let her be, instead of trying to get her to stop to get dressed or eat something, I just leave her to crack on.
When she is hungry she'll tell me, and if she needs anything, she'll ask.
We don't feel the need to attend everything that's on offer, and we don't get panicky about socialising.
She has a really healthy balance, and I think it's key to recognise a good balance in life.
Nobody needs to be around tons of people all the time, it's unnatural and stressful.
Like I said, we like a slower pace, where we practice mindfulness and gratitude for being together and being able to live our lives peacefully enjoying the moment.
We are a close family and because we all get to do what we love, we don't feel like spending time together is a chore, and we genuinely enjoy just hanging out together and make sure that when we do things, that we are all happy and involved.
She doesn't rule the household, but neither do we.
We are parents, who try and be good role models, but we treat her as an equal member of the family, which means that we expect her to recognise us as equal parts of the family too.
I see a lot of parents struggling with their kids making decisions that negatively impact them and tire them out. But you need to make sure that each member of the family are all getting what they want and need, compromising where need be, so that everyone is happy.
I think communication is very important, and also just explaining the reasons behind your decisions can have a huge effect.
We won't just say No without telling her why we are saying no.
Honestly we don't often have a reason to say no, but let's just say that she wanted to eat a whole packet of oreos for dinner.
We would say no and then we'd explain that they are not only for her, and that there are three of us in this family that enjoy oreos, and that she is welcome to eat her share but we don't want ours now.
Or if she wanted to be up later than us at night, then we would say that's fine but please respect that we want to go to sleep, so to keep it down and also dim her lights.
These things seldom happen in our house, but I do see a lot of these types of questions, about what would you do if your kids were up shouting and playing all night or eating all the junk in the house.
My answer to those things is communication.
Unschooling isn't about letting your kids run wild and make you stressed and miserable.
You are allowed to explain why certain things aren't fair or appropriate.
They can do what they would like to do, but they need to be considerate of the other people in the house.
We are all people and we all deserve equal respect.
Anyway, I jotted down a couple of random days showing what Maddie got up to, just so you can see what a typical day in her life looks like:
(Let me know if you want information on what I do while she's getting on with her life.)
-Woke up at around 8:30 and played piano for a bit
-Dug out an old maths book because she felt like doing some word problems and long division (first time in months she felt like maths so not a regular thing)
-Moved on to journalling in her 'All About Me' book that she bought for herself on amazon
-Got dressed and tidied her room, brushed teeth and hair.
-Had her piano lesson here at home (she has a really fun young piano teacher who she gets on really well with)
-She had been planning what she was going to cook us all for lunch (she felt like cooking today)
-She started prepping the food while we walked the dog
-She made potato waffles, with different toppings for everyone and then crepes for dessert
-Ate her lunch and then tidied up
-Went back to her 'All About Me' journal and watched some of her program
-Had a shower, while we chatted to each other and asked each other questions - she loves asking what our favourite things are or would you rather questions.
-Played with dad for an hour - wrestling, tickle bug kind of play
-Had dinner - Cauliflower Alfredo
-Settled down to watch her programs, while we watched ours - We all hang out in the lounge together and watch whatever we want
-Went to lay in bed together and read for about 45mins - she's reading the Harry Potter series
-She listened to her audiobook until she fell asleep around 9:45/10ish
Another day:
-Woke up at about 8am
-Laid in bed and read for a while
-Got up and played piano for a bit (should add that we have never once told her or asked her to play or practice - she expressed interest over many months and we provided the piano, she continues to play because she enjoys it and it's something she wants to learn. She also asked me to find a casual piano teacher that isn't going to push her to do grades and that will just teach her for fun)
-Played with Loki and did some journaling
-Had fresh pressed juice and her supplements, and a roll
-She started prepping for what she calls the teaching game, where she finds unique ways to draw things, like fancy writing or borders. She created a new Pinterest board where she found a lot of ideas called drawing ideas.
-She did this for a while, while I prepped her food for a play date the next day
-Then we got settled on the carpet together and she showed or 'taught' me how to do all the things she prepared
-Then she got dressed while I went on facebook and found a new fun activity she might want to try and organised a meet up for the following Monday
-She had a bowl of chips and a sweet potato black bean burger
-She went on minecraft and built a few buildings (she asked me to give her a different country every time she asks and then she looks for a famous landmark in that country and tries to build it in minecraft) her idea
-She hopped in the shower and got ready for girl guides
-Went to guides for just under 2 hours where she has a good friend
-Came home and had another burger and an almond milk hot chocolate
-Watched her programs while we watched ours
-Went and got into bed at around 9:30pm and listened to her audiobook until she fell asleep around 10ish.
She doesn't like being the last one awake in the house so she won't ever stay up past us.
So as you can see, there is nothing major going on, but she is curious everyday, she asks questions all day, we have conversations all day, she sees friends everyday, and she dabbles in a number of different things.
If you have any specific questions then please leave me a comment or send me a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can.
And if you are interested in these types of posts let me know and check out our youtube channel for some video footage of days like this.
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